


the rug from underneath

by sunbeamsky



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: Angst, Child Abuse, JJ Needs a Hug, Kie is a supportive friend, M/M, Pope wants to give him that hug, basically the hot tub scene with a sprinkle of mayward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:00:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25524010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunbeamsky/pseuds/sunbeamsky
Summary: Pope notices things. He notices his friends and their quirks and he notices so much about JJ. But he never noticed this.How had he never noticed this?
Relationships: Pope Heyward/JJ Maybank
Comments: 5
Kudos: 112





	the rug from underneath

JJ is all sharp edges and screams that cry too loudly in explosive bursts of passion and wonder. He jumps so much higher than Pope that sometimes Pope worries JJ will float off into the sky like a balloon and Pope will be left alone on the shore. JJ will sprint down the gravel streets or rev his dirt bike as he comes crashing to a stop, the bike still rolling as he tumbled off. JJ lives every single moment like it’s the most important and Pope can only marvel at him for it.

But then the balloon deflated and his screams turn to silence and suddenly JJ is so quiet that he gets lost in the shadows. He’s a good liar and when he wants to go unnoticed, JJ can easily be forgotten. 

JJ is two sides of the same coin. He is always at an extreme, as if he had never learned how to approach life neutrally. Or maybe Pope had forgotten how to live with with everything he had all the time. Maybe that’s why when JJ crashed, he crashed hard—so tired from giving life two hundred percent.

Pope never knows what to expect from JJ. Nobody does. There are moments, fleeting and few, when Pope thinks he can read JJ. Can even begin to understand. 

There are times when JJ has bruises on his face or when he wears a long sleeve shirt in the middle of August, when Pope can see past the lies. JJ will try and brush it off, say that he’s fine or that it was just a Kook, but his eyes betray him and Pope can see the way JJ’s jaw tightens and his eyes well up. Before he pushes it down and lights up a join or dives out into the waves. JJ needs to move when he’s upset. JJ needs to deflect when he’s upset. Pope notices. 

Pope has begun to notice a lot about JJ.

He can’t quite figure out why—at first—every time he looks, JJ is already watching him. Usually he shifts his gaze away almost instantaneously. But sometimes he’ll just shoot Pope and goofy smile or wink at him and Pope really notices that. JJ likes to keep watch of Pope, but Pope never sees JJ keeping watch of the other Pogues. Not the way Pope does.

Pope notices a lot about a lot of things. He’s always been observant—nosy, as his mom would say. He likes the understand people’s mannerisms and learn about quirks and habits. 

He knows that Kie cannot physically hold her annoyances inside, that the Pogues can barely go one conversation without Kie rolling her eyes. Pope also knows that Kie bites her nails when she gets nervous. It’s subconscious, he knows this, because sometimes she’ll blink a few times and then her eyes will go wide and she’ll drop her hands to her sides, looking around to see if anybody noticed her doing it. 

He knows that John B doesn’t understand the effect he has on JJ. That one was a hard thing for Pope to nail, to truly understand. John B loved JJ, Pope knew that for a fact, but he was always shooting down JJ’s ideas, undermining the things JJ thought, and he never seemed to pick up on the way JJ’s face would fall and he would get quiet and withdrawn for a few minutes after. Not all the time, but enough that Pope had started to notice. 

For all Pope notices, there is still so much that goes over his head.

Being the smart guy that he is, this realization is hard to take in. Especially when JJ is standing in front of him with a fat bruise between his eye and his hairline, cuts and dried blood on his lips. JJ flinches as soon as Pope is holding onto him and—as much as Pope knows he should respect it—he’s been worried sick about JJ and just needs to hold him. Needs to have JJ someplace safe and secure and he needs to hug him or he is going to lose his mind. 

JJ doesn’t hug him back and Pope can feel him tense up, rambling on about something that Pope doesn’t have the capacity to listen to. He was too worried. JJ was such a shit texter that Pope had no idea if he had even been bailed out of jail. And that’s fucking horrifying. Pope knows it’s different for JJ, though. In his gut he knows that JJ is white and he will be okay. But he watched the cops put hand cuffs on his best friend and he couldn’t help but worry about the worst case scenario.

So the first thing he asks if it was Shoupe who gave JJ that bruise—the bruise that was not there when JJ was arrested.

“Oh, this?” JJ breezes over it, “This is my dad, you know?”

But no, Pope doesn’t fucking know. Sometimes he wondered, but he didn’t fucking know until right now.

“Guess that right jab will really snap it off at times.”

Pope can’t let him do this. JJ can’t just admit that his dad hurts him and try to act like it’s nothing. Not when the re-evaluation hurts Pope so deeply in his soul that it feels like Luke has hit him too. The bruise is too dark on JJ’s pale skin and it makes Pope want to vomit because how could anybody hurt their child? Hurt JJ? 

“That looks like more than a jab bro,” Pope says, because he can’t stop himself and it’s breaking his heart at how nonchalant JJ is acting. JJ shrugs but he’s quiet his eyes give everything away and Pope wishes he could hug him again. But JJ didn’t want to be hugged the first time and he’d flinched when Pope touched him so Pope gives him his distance. 

And just like he always does, JJ goes to the opposite extreme and is smiling and excited and spitting off his plan to help John B find the gold. Pope knows John B doesn’t understand the effect he has on JJ, doesn’t understand how JJ would do whatever he asked even if it put his own life at risk. 

Suddenly, Pope thinks for the first time that maybe he, Pope himself, doesn’t understand the effect he has on JJ. How JJ was willing to go to jail for him. How JJ was willing to get beat up by his own father for Pope. And Pope feels helpless when JJ walks away. 

After that night, Pope can’t stop thinking about JJ. Can’t stop thinking about JJ’s dad hurting him. About how JJ said it was ‘nothing that hasn’t happened before’ as if he thought it would be comforting. About how scared JJ’s eyes were for just a minute. Because JJ is not scared of anything. JJ is the bravest of the bunch, stupid and reckless but wholeheartedly brave. JJ oozes confidence and he speaks as if he doesn’t care what anybody would ever think of him. He’s electric and wild and Pope can’t stop thinking about how much of a contradiction JJ is.

And then JJ really spirals. Pope is waiting in the van with Kie and Sarah when John B volunteers to try and calm JJ down. Because JJ is in one of his explosive fits of passion but this time it’s not fun or adventurous, it’s way too dangerous and absolutely everybody is worried about JJ. Even Sarah Cameron is worried about JJ. But when John B and JJ come back outside they’re fighting and John B is yelling at JJ—and Pope really doesn’t like that.

JJ is spiraling and Pope feels helpless again so he interviens. 

“I took the fall for you, man,” JJ responds, voice heavy with emotion and it makes Pope’s chest hurt. “Do you know how much money I owe because of you?”

Because of you. Pope doesn’t know the effect he has on JJ, never has. Pope didn’t fucking mean for that to happen. He never wanted to put that on JJ.

“I’m gonna pay you back,” Pope promises. “And I didn’t even ask you to do that.”

But JJ is getting even closer to Pope, closer and closer to his face. His teeth are gritted together and he wreaks from sweat and his eyes are filled with anger. Anger that’s being directed at Pope. JJ has never looked at Pope that way before.

“I just did. Pay it back. Right here, right now.”

Pope is angry now too because JJ is right and it hurts to hear the truth. But he’s also mad because he let JJ take the fall for him. And then JJ was arrested and beat by his father and now he owes more money than JJ has ever seen his life. So he did the thing he’s best at and he stole. And Pope is furious that he can’t be mad at JJ for being so stupid because he also knows how scared he is. 

“By myself.”

That hurts so much more than Pope would ever admit. He would help if JJ just let somebody else help him for once. And JJ is so close, close enough that Pope can feel JJ’s breath hot on his cheeks. 

JJ is leaving again and Pope feels helpless, John B holding him back before he can chase after JJ and force him to accept some help. 

Pope notices the way that nobody else tries to go after JJ. He notices how when they say he just ‘needs some space’ they really mean that they just don’t know how to help him and are too overwhelmed to try. Pope isn’t good at telling other people what to do so he gives JJ some space.

Which is so fucking stupid.

At first Pope is angry. Angry because JJ is willing to risk everything to help others but can’t help himself. How the hell did he spent that much money in one day? How come he couldn’t have just paid of his restitutions? Or just given it back to the drug dealer before he found out it was missing. But JJ is hammered and drinking champagne in a hot tub surrounded by neon lights.

“But, you know, I didn’t do that,” JJ exclaims after Kie and Pope have both tried to reprimand him. The second he stands Pope loses feeling of his legs. He feels his dinner churning in his stomach and threatening to spill out. Because JJ has three giant purple bruises on his stomach and Pope knew—he fucking knew—that JJ didn’t need space. 

“Look what I did for you,” JJ barks, too drunk to pace himself or keep quiet. “Look at this!”

“JJ,” Kie says firmly and Pope is so glad at least one of them can speak.

“No, stop being emotional. It’s fine, okay,” JJ pleads but his words are getting quiet and shakier and Pope doesn’t know what to do because he’s watching the strongest person he knows crumbling before his eyes. He can’t look away from the bruises and he can’t stop thinking about the fact that all of this happened because he let JJ take the fall for him. 

JJ is starting to cry and Pope has never seen him cry. He doesn’t know what to do at all.

“I mean, it’s sweet right,” JJ is adding, voice trembling as Kie is climbing into the hot tub. “Just get in.”

Pope is still frozen, too overwhelmed to move. Can’t come to grips with the fact that JJ’s dad could ever do that to him. Kie pulls JJ against her chest and he absolutely collapses into her arms. Pope can hear Kiara crying too but JJ begins to sob and Pope’s heart falls out of his chest. 

“I just couldn’t do it,” JJ whimpers into Kie’s shoulder. Pope has never heard JJ sound like that, didn’t know it was possible.

JJ sobs, his body bouncing as he clutches Kie, pressing his face against her skin and it glows under the neon lights. 

“I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

Pope’s heart is dissolving into dust and he wants to throw up or scream or cry but he’s frozen and JJ is sobbing. The scene spins around his vision like he’s standing in the center of a merry-go-round. 

“I was gonna kill him,” JJ cries, his voice high and broken and Pope feels his shoulders fall. JJ has never sounded so scared and Pope has had enough. He still can’t find any words to say. JJ lifts his head for just a second and as soon as his eyes meet Pope’s, Pope climbs into the hot tub.

He wraps his arms around JJ, around Kie too. JJ melts against his arms and drop the bottle, his hands both latching onto Pope’s arms. 

“I just wanna do the right thing.”

Pope knows. Pope knows enough about JJ to know that his heart is always in the right place.

“I know,” Kie coos softly, voice high and filled with tears too. Pope tightens his hold on both of them because he doesn’t have the voice to speak but he can hold them as close and as tightly as he can. “I know.”

Pope holds them for a while. JJ sobs and sobs until Pope is freezing and JJ’s breath is filled with hiccups and snot and Pope refuses to let go. No more space, he’s not making that mistake again. Eventually, Kie unwraps her arms from JJ and shuts off the disco mode lights. Pope has hugged JJ to his chest—who has stopped sobbing but Pope can’t tell if he’s still crying since he’s refusing to meet either of their eyes. Pope gets it. Vulnerability is hard and JJ basically just shattered. He lets Pope hold him. Pope is grateful for that. 

Kie motions her head to the house and Pope nods in agreement. She puts a hand on JJ’s back and the two help JJ out of the hot tub and stumble into the house. JJ won’t lookup from the ground and his fingers are still wrapped around Pope’s arm. He sniffles and stumbles over his feet, water dripping in a long trail behind them as they walk through the porch and into the house. Kie leads them both to the bathroom and takes a towel out of the linen closet. Pope is amazed that John B actually had a clean towel left after weeks of living in his own.

Now’s not the time to think about John B, though. Now is the time to help JJ. Kie draws the towel over JJ’s shoulders and looks to Pope with inquisitive eyes. Pope doesn’t know what she’s trying to ask. She puts a hand on JJ’s shoulder. 

“I’m gonna get you some dry clothes, okay?” 

JJ doesn’t say anything. He is lost in Pope’s arms but it’s drastically colder than the hot tub and they’re all covered in goosebumps. Pope gives Kie a nod and she dashes off to John B’s room to find some clothes. When she returns, JJ has still made no effort to separate himself from Pope.

“Do you want us to give you some space?” Pope asks, the first words he’s been able to get out. And it feels like such a stupid question because he never wants to give JJ space again in his life. 

“Can you stay?” he asks, voice raspy and quiet. “Just turn around?”

“Of course.”

As much as he doesn’t want to, Pope let’s go if JJ and he and Kie turn around so they’re both facing the door. JJ’s shorts drop to the floor in a wet thump and Pope can hear JJ shuffling around until he finally tell them they can turn around. 

It’s the first time Pope has seen JJ’s eyes since he started to cry. It’s fucking devastating. Pope and Kie are both soaking wet and Kie has brought some of John B’s clothes for them both so they take turns looking away. JJ reaches out for Pope’s hand when their backs are turned to give Kie privacy. Pope grips as tightly at he can, glad to be holding onto JJ again. Kie finishes and they’re all making their way out of the tiny bathroom. Nobody is saying much of anything but JJ keeps his hand in Pope’s.

“What can we do to help you right now?” Kie asks as they sit down on the couches in the living room. JJ sits right next to Pope, no space between them at all. Kie is on the adjacent couch, sitting in the edge and leaning towards JJ. “Do you want something to eat? Watch a movie? Just tell us what we can do.”

JJ leans against Pope slightly, his wet hair brushing againPope’s skin but he’s getting warmer and he’s not shaking or crying anymore. He still smells like alcohol, but Pope doesn’t think he’s drunk anymore. 

“JJ?” Kie asks, her voice high again and Pope can tell she’s worried. She bites down on her nails and Pope wraps his free arm around JJ’s shoulders because all night JJ has been reacting particularly well to touch and it’s all Pope can think to do. 

Pope wants to say it’s going to be okay. It won’t be though, probably, so he doesn’t. He wants to come up with something funny or distracting or anything he can to make JJ laugh or smile for a moment. He wants to find wherever John B is and bring him home because JJ would smile right now if John B wanted him too. Pope wishes he had that strong of an effect of JJ. 

“I dunno,” JJ mumbles, leaning into Pope’s touch even more. “Just sit here with me.”

Pope can do that. He can definitely do that. They sit for a few minutes, JJ and Pope clinging to each other and Kie watching them anxiously. At some point she turns on the tv and brings them all blankets. She fills up a glass of water for JJ but hands it to Pope. She doesn’t fall asleep until JJ has already fallen asleep in Pope’s arms—as if her body couldn’t physically relax until she knew JJ was okay. Pope gets that. 

He doesn’t fall asleep as quickly, his brain too overwhelmed. Because Pope notices things. He notices his friends and their quirks and he notices so much about JJ. But he never noticed this. 

How had he never noticed this?

**Author's Note:**

> more tumblr ramblings; not sure about the title yet...


End file.
